I am a magnet for depravity.
Some people desperately seek it and find only mediocrity; I on the other hand seem to stumble across it unfailingly. God's consolation prize I guess or another example of what a prick he is and his twisted sense of humour; either way it works for me....





I had been living in ****** for about 4 months and had become too familiar with the lush lounge bars found with abundance in the down-town area. I prefer these iniquitous dens to dance clubs because it is much easier to charm your way into somebody’s pants when they can actually hear what you are saying.

On this particular Fri. night I went out to meet a friend for a few drinks. He is a bartender at one of the better lounge bars and has a celebrity of his own as he is witty, charming and outrageously gay. As I sat there sipping my vodka tonic and watching him work his magic on the bar stool audience I began to scan the room looking for a potential target. All I saw were the usual painfully pedestrian suspects:

The ultra hip fashion whores who exuded all the raw sexual power of a used dish rag.

The pretty girlie girls who looked as though they would be as much fun in bed as a headache.

The mack-daddy playboy wannabes, drunk with daddy’ money and full of themselves.

The pickings were slim and I was nowhere near drunk enough to tolerable this kind of fucking stupidity!

At this point my Irish kicked in and I decided to just get blind, raving, want to fight anybody drunk. I asked for another vodka lime and settled in for a long night of drinking and grudge fucking...

Years ago I discovered the secret to drinking retarded amounts of alcohol and maintaining some level of composure: stick to one type of liquor. If you start with vodka only drink vodka, no matter how hammered you get... make sure that you stick with one kind

It was 10 o’clock and I was on my 7 or 8th drink. I had yet to pay for one and had my suspicions that my friend was trying to get me drunk. He knew I was straight and I knew he was gay... but.. fuck it! free vodka is free vodka!

Around this time two girls dressed up like Japanese porn nurses had saddled up next to me at the bar and were doing their best imitation of an available woman. There was some kind of costume birthday party going on and these two had strayed away from the festivities to come flirt. Honestly, I was interested in a triple X throw down, not a pretty girl, lights off, pretend fuck. I worked not to notice their presence and just watched the room open up as the liquor flowed. About ½ an hour and thee drinks later, the owners of the bar came in and invited me to come with them to the opening of a new lounge bar. These guys always love to scope the competition and the scene is notoriously incestuous.

I looked at them, looked at the porn nurses… and left.
later tits!

It is always nice to skip line-ups, and we slide in like greased monkeys. Scanning the room I found the bar and made a B-line for the vodka. Drink in hand I lit a smoke a heard, “are you American?” from behind me.
I turned around to see a 30 something woman in a dress that hugged her ample form in all the right places I smiled; Dark hair, dark eyes and voluptuous, just the way I like them.

Things have just become interesting I thought to myself, “no I am Canadian, but you are American and you are very new here I think”
Something about the way she stood in the crowded room led me to believe she was new to the city. Her smile at my comment let me know I was right.

We chatted and I was unbearably witty, 10 mins into the conversation I knew that sometime real soon her naked ass was going to be in my hands and I was going to be spanking it like I meant it...
Cool, very fucking cool.

It turned out she was a sales rep for a major sporting company and she was here on a business trip to survey the Taiwanese operations with the company rep from Taiwan. Her business associate was a late 30’s Taiwanese woman who was drunk beyond words and was all hands. I sat between these two cougars and tried to hide my self-serving smile.
We talked and laughed and drank…. A lot.

The Taiwanese woman leaded over/into me and banged her head into mine hard enough to get me to raise my hand up to rub the bump. I don\'t think she even noticed, she was beyond drunk. As her head wavered back and forth she said,I\" have never worn a dress like this before.\" I knew that she was referring to the low cut cocktail dress she had on because:
1. when she leaned over to me her breasts were hanging in my face. 2. she had no panties on and had obviously forgotten about that, as every time she leaned over my crotch to talk to her friend I had smooth creamy ass in my face.

Let me say this, the view was spanktastic.

As she was yet again leaning over me to talk to her friend, I gently put my hand on her ass and whispered into the tall dark beauty from America\'s ear, \"I think I should get us a cab.\" Legs looked at me smiled and said, \" well aren\'t you the presumptuous one !What makes you think you are going home with us?\"
I knew from the smile legs was testing to see what I was made of.
I smiled and said, \" I presume nothing. You two lovely ladies have had too much to drink. I just want to make sure you both get in a cab and get safely back to your Hotels.\"

20 Minutes later all three of us were in legs Hotel room playing slap and tickle.

I won.