I want the free tickets so I can throw down in the pit, bang my head, fuck some hot asian bitches and get drunk, then i want to vomit blood in the faces of some cute hello kitty girls while i get a back room blowjob from your mom

I want the tickets because I am a cheap cunt and I cant pay for the show plus I am very far away so I want the tickets so nobody else can have them

I want to make small children cry. give me free tickets

motherfucking whiners! I get the tickets because I wanna see Roughahusen shit spank scream crude fucking latex ass spanking tit sucking the stage faster than you can all say "my nipples hurt from the riffs fuck!" you can all go to fucking hell!!!

Roughhausen directly funds extremist and fundamentalist full-contact interpretive dance troupes.

They also have a medley of uplifting Glee covers planned for their show.

Stoddard once hosted a dinner party without the correct number of butter knives lain out, and neither chastised nor rebuked his wife, forcefully or otherwise, when she sneezed in the salad.

"Roughhausen" is an anagram of 'Uh oh! Arse gun!' and 'hero anus hug' (Mortal Kombat finishing move)

Peggy has a sixth toe. On her left hand.

Stoddard's keyboard spites him by playing only "Greensleeves" if he leaves it alone too long. This happened once during a show when he left the stage to take a shit. We still haven't forgiven him.

Peggy's computer has been taken over by a bot which sends spam mail advertising knock-off LV bags and purses. She knows this, yet delights in the misery of strangers so does nothing about it.

Roughhausen know how fucking magnets work, but ain't telling Insane Clown Posse.

Stoddard is responsible for non-repeating decimals like pi and the square root of 2, the contrary cunt.

Peggy knows what a Justin Bieber is.





As a matter of principle, based on the reasons given and more I can't fathom just this minute, I refuse to pay money to see them perform. It must be for free.

I want those tickets so bad that I can taste them. In fact, upon winning them I will most likely consume them, chewing the fuck out of them before swallowing them down with a can of red bull and demanding entry into the show, offering to let security lick the ink of my polyps if they need proof. You say there aren't actually any tickets, but it's more a guest list thing? Fine. Fuck it. I will eat the fucking guest list, and the wooden clip board, and the metal clip itself. I'll eat the fucker down and crap it out for the first fucking club bouncer who asks me for proof of my VIP status. You want press credentials? Fuck, here are my press credentials. I shit press credentials. I pull the terror of the fucking gods out of my anus daily. Give me some more of those fucking pil...

*tape breaks*

I will fuck your grandmothers for the tickets and I will like it.

I want the free tickets I want them so bad that I am pissing blood out of my asshole into the mouth of my own mother who is a whore that sucks the cocks of sailors fresh out of other sailors assholes.